The Talk - part many of many more….

One of my favorite quotes of a college guy friend is, "I wish I still knew everything I knew at 17. Because at 17 - I knew everything!"

Our oldest is right there.

His questions - or more accurately - critiques of us, his parents, really show how he is thinking about life and life choices at this stage. His critiques are usually of our parenting of his younger brother and sister. He wants us to be great parents and has no problem telling us where we could be, get this, stricter. But as we delve deep into a discussion, I usually realize there are questions behind his critiques. He's looking for our reasoning behind our choices and actions. He's looking for our statements and actions to match. Last night's conversation made me realize that these conversations will shape the type of parent he becomes one day. A day that I hope is more than a decade away, I might add.

Last night one topic he broached was sex. I laughed to myself when I heard the same exact words I had spoken at his age.

"Parents act like sex is some terrible thing."

And to some degree, we do. We talk about abstinence, pregnancies, diseases. We talk about waiting. Don't do it yet. Only once you're married.

He wanted real life answers to his very real questions. He didn't want to perfect answers that parents "should say." He wanted us to be real with him.

And while I was embarrassed at times, we had a great talk just the two of us. Afterwards, I brought his father and he together and brokered another talk. Our oldest has an easier time talking with me; yet, I hear from both my son and husband how they wish it was easier to talk to each other. I forced the issue last night, because I knew much of the wisdom I shared with our son, actually came from my conversations with Hon.

I'm so glad we had such an open and honest conversation. I will forever laugh and hopefully so laugh with my son over how many times Hon said, "So there are three issues with sex - pregnancy, diseases, and emotions."

Those were apparently his talking points, and he came back to that sentence over and over again. I swear the first time our son has sex he's going to be thinking, "Pregnancies, diseases, emotions." You had to be there. But oh, are we such "parents" at times.

Did we bring up God in our conversation last night? No.

Was I praying for his guidance and wisdom? Absolutely!!!

May God continue to guide our conversations. May he be involved in our every word and action. May he continue to build trust between our children and us. May this be just one of many talks. Amen.

Practicing the Piano

I feel called to begin writing again; and yet, I am so out of practice that it is painful.

Painful to find a place to start and even more painful to read. But it's an attempt to answer a desire that I can't deny. So here I go…because life really is just putting one foot in front of the other - no matter how gingerly.

I've started taking piano lessons when I was 9 years old. My best friend had taught me how to play Heart and Soul, and I begged for a piano and lessons. My parents found a piano either for $50 or free - no one really remembers - and my mom spent a few weeks lovingly removing kitty cat stickers and 47 coats of paint. I feel loved when I think of the effort she put forth for me.

It was a huge upright grand. And while it had a big sound, it never really stayed in tune very long. Not that it was tuned very often mind you. So three years ago, my dear husband replaced that piano with a beautiful baby grand for our anniversary. I dove back into playing music. I learned a few new songs, but I keep coming back to old favorites. I would practice and practice. Then I stopped practicing. Then I practiced some more.

You know what? I play the same three songs over and over again.

And you know what? I will never play them perfectly.

Never.

It was a huge day when I realized that I am not a "pianist." But I sure do love to play. I play songs that touch my heart over and over, mistake after mistake, and love each moment I'm playing. I think I have finally found grace in my lack of talent or perfection.

A friend tipped me off to the fact that there was a much deeper meaning to my little piano "aha" moment.

Yet, how does it apply to the rest of my life - my journey with God?

I've been through a season of seeing my "false" or sinful self. It hasn't been very uplifting. I keep trying and trying. I think I want God's transformation, yet all I see are my failures. No amount of practice or effort (I'm not even sure I give it much effort) seems to show a godly transformation.

Do you ever think you've almost got something figured out, but know you're not there yet?

The verse I keep coming back to this fall is Luke 22:42-43, "Yet not my will, but your will be done. And an angel appeared from heaven and strengthened him."

All my readings and thoughts conclude in the same place.

Not my will, but your will be done.

I don't have any answers to the great secrets of life except this one at the moment. I don't even want to imagine where it leads, because at times that's scary. I'm watching another mom deal with God's will for her life, and it's awful.

But I also know in the place beyond all understanding and knowledge that this is the key.

Not my will, but your will be done.

Week 6 - Day 1 Devotional

Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. Matthew 11:30

Keeping company with God provides joy in our lives. His comfort and presence even in times of heartache sustain and bring us peace.

As I re-read the few sentences above that I wrote months ago, I realize that I spent last week learning this very lesson.

I had a week of worry, not horrible worry mind you, but waiting worry. Even though I knew my worrying was not getting me anywhere, I was still stuck there. We all handle worry differently. I flit from activity to activity never really accomplishing much and my temper is shorter. I’ve heard family stories how my great- grandmother would just sit for days overwhelmed by worry. The only way I know to battle worry is to fill my mind with truth – God’s truth. I also admit I’m not very good at it. I usually end up just holding my Bible rather than diving into it.

These are the times that the scripture written on my heart is such a blessing to me. As I sat beside my Bible last week painting my toe nails rather than reading, God’s words came to me in snippets. His truth that He is the shade at my right hand, that he would keep me from all harm- He will watch over my life (Psalm 121) soothed a worried mom. His gentle whisper even ruffled the pages of my Bible to bless with me with another circled verse.

The days when Bible study is last on your list - but needed most - are the days the spiritual disciplines pay off. Just as months of physical training pays off on race day for an athlete, time with the Lord transforms my spiritual body. It readies me for the times of trial. We will all have these times in this world. His words are written on my heart; His truths have freed me from doubts. On the day I didn’t feel up using my spiritual disciplines to visit with the Lord; He was already with me.

22Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
27"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
32"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:22-34

Silence – Read – Reflect – Respond – Rest – Resolve



When we take time to gain perspective, we see that most of our worries in life are silly. However, there are times when our worries are huge and overwhelming. Not just possibilities, but realities. God tells us in our reading today that no worrying can add an hour to our lives. Indeed worrying saps far too many moments that could be spent with our loved ones. As with so many spiritual issues this one comes back to trust.

Do you trust your Lord?

Who can you trust more?

Yourself?

I truly know no other cure for worries than filling yourself with God’s word. I also know that if you are a worrier by nature, only God can transform you. Fill your life with Him and His word. These are the times that breath prayers can be so important.

You have an assignment today – go to Bibleway.com or your Bible dictionary/concordance and look up verses referring to worry and trust. Find one you like. Write it on an index card and put it in your purse, on your mirror, in your car, over the kitchen sink. Let God’s word replace the scenarios you create in your head.

Summer Devotional Week 1 - Day 3

My kids love to go out to eat for their birthday. Their favorite place is any Japanese steak house. The birthday meal isn’t complete until all the waiters and waitresses surround them and sing in celebration for their special day. Well, I went out to lunch for my birthday. My friend mentioned it was my special day, and the waiter said he’d be right back with “something.”

Boy, was I excited, because I knew “something” would include whipped cream. You should have seen my face, which I hid behind my hands, when the group showed up singing. I had forgotten about the singing.

Loudly.

And way too slowly.

I wanted the something special without all the hoopla and celebration. In today’s reading we meet a woman who desperately wanted Jesus’ power. She knew it would heal her, but she just didn’t want the hoopla. I often thought what she would have missed out on if Jesus didn’t take the time to make her acknowledge her healing miracle.

Once again during your reading today, seek what God is saying to you in this moment. Which words touch or even irritate you? Ponder the words that stick out to you even if at first you really wonder why.

21When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. 22Then one of the synagogue rulers, named Jairus, came there. Seeing Jesus, he fell at his feet 23and pleaded earnestly with him, "My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live." 24So Jesus went with him. A large crowd followed and pressed around him. 25And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. 27When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." 29Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. 30At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"
31"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "
32But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." Mark 5:21-34


Silence – Read – Reflect – Respond – Rest - Resolve



Benner says in Surrender to Love , "Jesus welcomes us with love that invites intimacy. He invites us to give up our isolation, our striving, to relinquish control of our lives. In its place he offers rest, fulfillment, and discovery of our true and deepest self in Christ."


· Many different people sought out Jesus’ healing powers and approached him in as many different ways. He knows everything about you, but what areas do you still want to fix before you let Him see them?

· What do you secretly want fixed and put away without ever dealing with again? (Freely answer and ponder this one for yourself – even a blabber mouth like me has some things just between God and me. Thinking through this helps you know yourself better.)

Summer Devotional Week 1 - Day 2

There is so much to be learned from today’s scripture. You might have heard that scripture can be examined through different lenses or points of view. You can examine scripture as the story that is actually happening...when Jesus actually spoke the words if in the gospels, or the story of Abraham when it happened...there is the lenses of how the people who first heard that letter or gospel heard it as shaped by their culture and place in history...whether the temple was up or down is a big one...how much they are being persecuted, there is also what the writer was trying to teach or communicate or encourage or correct. Another lens to use to examine scripture is through our own personal experience, history, beliefs and traditions. In other words interpretting the meaning of scripture for your life today. This is where we are focusing – applying scripture to our lives right now. Just as Jesus’ invitation “Come to Me” asks us to be less full of ourselves so we may be filled by God; lectio divina is a practice where we make ourselves open and available to God. God may use His word to invite us into deeper relationship with Him or to touch us with His healing grace.

Lord, You know the troubles and thoughts on my mind. Help me to clear my mind of everything but You. Grant me in these moments awareness of your loving presence and enlighten me with Your word for me today.

Use the following passage for your lectio divina reading today. As you begin take time to get comfortable and quiet your mind.

1When Jesus had finished saying all this in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernaum. 2There a centurion's servant, whom his master valued highly, was sick and about to die. 3The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some elders of the Jews to him, asking him to come and heal his servant. 4When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with him, "This man deserves to have you do this, 5because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue." 6So Jesus went with them. He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: "Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. 7That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. 8For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."
9When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel." 10Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well. Luke 7:1-10



Silence – take a moment to quiet yourself and ask the Lord to speak to you.
Read – listen for the word spoken to you. Pay attention to the word or phrase that strikes you. Allow a moment or two of silence as you repeat this word or phrase to yourself
Reflect – read again. Where am I in this scene? What is addressed specifically to me? Allow several moments to explore your thoughts, perceptions, and impressions
Respond – read again. What is my response to God based on what I’ve read and encountered?
Rest – read again. Rest quietly in God’s embrace like a weaned child.
Resolve – carry this word with you to live in the context of your daily life.


· Take time to journal your thoughts. What in this reading meant the most to you?

· The centurion knew he did not need to be in Jesus’ physical presence to receive His blessing. What in your life need’s Jesus’ healing?

· Do you believe he can heal your health, circumstances, relationships? Why? Why not? Can He completely heal you?

Summer Devotional Week 1 - Day 1

Come to me.

An invitation. A simple invitation. In the NIV, the invitation is “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened.” I don’t know about you, but I think that pretty much covers everyone I know. We are created with an innate desire for God. This desire wants to meet God in a very real and meaningful way for God has created us for relationship with Him. Jesus provides the invitation, “Come to me.”

My thoughts are "Why? What’s he going to do? Where are we going? What will it require? What’s in it for me?"

I love this invitation because not only is it an invitation to relationship, but it is also an invitation to a gift. Who doesn’t like a good present? This one is the best. Jesus asks us to come to him, so he may bestow on us the gift of the kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of heaven is foretold in the Old Testament as a kingdom established by the Messiah.

In the time of those kings, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. It will crush all those kingdoms and bring them to an end, but it will itself endure forever. Daniel 2:44

Daniel also foretells a Kingdom of God that is yet to come...

13 "In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence. 14 He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all peoples, nations and men of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed… 27 Then the sovereignty, power and greatness of the kingdoms under the whole heaven will be handed over to the saints, the people of the Most High. His kingdom will be an everlasting kingdom, and all rulers will worship and obey him.' Daniel 7:13-14, 27

In the Gospels we are blessed when we learn the Kingdom of God is already here as Jesus states in Luke.

20Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, 21nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:20-21


Do you ever ask yourself, “In who? In Me?”

Jesus tells us exactly to whom the Kingdom of God is promised in his Sermon on the Mount.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5: 3

This concept of poor in spirit can be little confusing, especially for those that realize we have the Holy Spirit within us. How can we be poor in spirit if we have God’s Holy Spirit? We need to remember that God gives us His Holy Spirit. We can be so full of ourselves we miss our true poverty of spirit. Poverty of spirit is the root of virtue – it is a state of the heart and how you view yourself in light of God. The word poor in Matthew 5:3 in Greek is “ptochos” which literally means having nothing, reduced to begging, like a beggar, totally broke. Jesus is referring to spiritual poverty. To be spiritually poor you grasp that you have nothing and need constant help. This is in stark contrast to the self-contained, self-sufficient super woman spirit for which our society longs, and is the image for which we so often find ourselves aiming.


This rest of this week’s daily readings will look at the Gospels and some of the poor in spirit that accepted Jesus’ invitation to come to him. Today consider the following verses from Psalm 34 for your lectio divina reading remembering that “fear of the Lord” is respect for His holiness and power.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
-Psalm 34:4-9


Silence – take a moment to quiet yourself and ask the Lord to speak to you.

Read – listen for the word spoken to you. Pay attention to the word or phrase that strikes you. Allow a moment or two of silence as you repeat this word or phrase to yourself

Reflect – read again. Where am I in this scene? What is addressed specifically to me? Allow several moments to explore your thoughts, perceptions, and impressions

Respond – read again. What is my response to God based on what I’ve read and encountered?

Rest – read again. Rest quietly in God’s embrace like a weaned child.

Resolve – carry this word with you to live in the context of your daily life.

I know today’s work has been long. I pray it’s been worth it. Take a few moments, jot down any ideas, feelings or the impressions you have after trying lectio divina on your own.

Dearest Lord…

Summer Devotional

This summer I worked on a devotional to share with a lovely group of ladies. Over the last 5 weeks we've read and tried a few spiritual disciplines with our daily readings. The following is the opening page of the devotional.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. -Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

These verses have called to my spirit and touched a deep place in my heart this past spring. They have called me like the invitation I now extend to you. Come sit with the Lord in the soft green grass. Lay beside the still water and let the Lord’s living water replenish you. See His compassion and love for you - His beloved child. He knows you - completely. He knows the deepest desires of your heart, the parts of you that you are proud of and the parts you try to hide even from yourself. He knows all and delights in you - for He created your nuances. Come sit with him and learn from him. Let him heal the hurts of your soul and teach you to live like him, freely and lightly. Let him teach you the unforced rhythms of his grace.

My prayer is that through this study you find a way to hear God daily through His scriptures and prayer. I pray that we both find a way to slow down, to listen, and to enjoy God’s presence. As Richard Rohr said, “Prayer is not primarily saying words or thinking thoughts. It is rather, a stance. It’s a way of living in the Presence.”

Each day we used the spiritual discipline of Lectio Divina to read through the selected Bible passage.

Lectio divina – divine or sacred reading is an approach to the Scriptures that sets us up to listen for the word of God spoken to us in the present moment. Lectio divina is a practice of divine reading that dates back to the early mothers and fathers of the Christian faith. It is rooted in the belief that through the presence of the Holy Spirit, the Scriptures are indeed alive and active as we engage them for spiritual transformation.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

As we make ourselves open and available to God through this practice, the Scriptures will penetrate to our very depths, showing us those things about ourselves that we are incapable of knowing on our own due to our well-developed defense structures. God will invite us into our next steps with him or touch us with his healing grace. Invariably he communicates his love for us in ways that we can hear and experience beyond cognitive knowing. -Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton

Lectio Divina

Prepare – take a few minutes to quiet yourself. Get comfortable and open you heart and mind to the Lord. Ask the Lord to speak to you.

Read – (Lectio) Listen for the word spoken to you. As you read the passage slowly, pay attention to the word or phrase that strikes you are catches your attention. Allow a moment or two of silence as you repeat the word or phrase to yourself.

Reflect – (Meditatio) – How is my life touched? Where am I in this scene? Read the passage again and listen for how this story touches your life today. Allow several moments as you explore the thoughts, perceptions, and sensory impressions that come to you.

Respond – (Oratio) – What is the invitation here? What is my response to God based on what I have read and encountered? Read the passage a third time and allow your prayer to flow as you have a personal dialogue with god sharing whatever has come forth from this reading.

Rest – (Contemplatio) – Rest in the Word of God. In this final reading, release and return to a place of rest in God.

Resolve – (Incarnatio) – Resolve to live out the Word of God as you carry this word with you into the context of your daily life and activity

Living in the Presence

What does, or would, it feel like to live in God’s most holy and divine presence? You do each day, you know? But how often do we notice? How often do we take just a moment to soak up God’s loving presence in our lives? I pray that as you go through this study you more thoroughly feel God’s loving presence in your life. Each moment - good, boring, or bad - He is by your side filled with love for you. And I don’t think He wants to sit there quietly either. I believe with all my heart He knows how to make this crazy life you’re living easier and full of His joy. Lean into Him. His grace and love will bring you His peace beyond all understanding.